My husband and I have some land in Hesperus. We’re moving from Baltimore to the Durango area in about six months to build our new home. He’s retired, but I have to work for a few more years. What kind of advice would you give to a couple of aging boomers about the town of Durango, jobs and short-term dwelling rentals? – Anonymous
Allow Action Line to be the first to welcome you to our bizarre slice of paradise.
It’ll take some getting used to. After all, there are vast differences between your Hesperus home-to-be and the mid-Atlantic coast.
For instance, it’s the royal treatment to get steamed blue crabs in Baltimore.
However, if one gets crabs in Hesperus, it will require a treatment that will either make you blue or royally steamed.
Just as Baltimore has a distinctive regional accent, we pronounce things differently around these parts.
The large reservoir east of town is spoken as “vy-a-SEE-toe.” The road and river are “flow-REE-duh.” There are many others – and don’t worry, the locals will quickly correct any misutterances.
In Durango, your vehicle does not define your identity. However, the items on the roof rack do.
Jacked-up pickup trucks are the one exception to this rule. In general, the bigger the truck, the smaller the cerebral cortex and another part of the anatomy.
As a new Durango-tang, you will learn to subsist on cheap wine, cheese cubes and carrot sticks – because this is what is served at nonprofit fundraisers, which occur with astonishing frequency.
There are 321 registered nonprofit Durango organizations, according to the website 501c3Lookup.org.
Durango has 17,212 people. That means there is one nonprofit group for every 54 residents.
Your wardrobe will change dramatically, as you accept that dog hair serves as a local fashion accessory, especially on fleece.
The phrase “Main Avenue downtown” actually means “place to drink beer in the street.” An entire city department has been established to accommodate local fermented festivities.
This town is a vortex. People who left here because they couldn’t make it often show up again. Presumably, they convinced themselves of the five most dangerous words in the world: “This time, it’ll be different.”
Likewise there is another saying: “Wherever you go, there you are.”
If you have difficulties or dysfunctions, Durango will magnify them. Moving to Durango is not therapy.
Conversely, if you embrace the outdoors, a lack of traffic and malls and abundance of quirky people, your life will become infinitely better.
Durango is a trail mix of aging hippies, cowboys (real or just playing the part), college students, pot-heads, powder hounds, railroad buffs, tree huggers, gun nuts, Earth muffins and rednecks.
Somehow, we get along. At least for the most part.
And you’ll also quickly learn that those who yell the loudest have the least to say. This is particularly true in the Letters to the Editor section of this newspaper.
July 4 is not a big deal. The real parade and fireworks show occur on the last week of January during a little thing called Snowdown. Mark your calendar accordingly.
As for jobs and housing, Action Line can only shrug his shoulders and smile.
Let’s be blunt. Rental housing can be as scarce as it is skeevy. If you have standards, lower them – and contact a local property-management company.
Lowering your standards also applies to the labor market. La Plata County’s per capita income is a scant $30,592, according to Census data, so it’s no place to grow rich.
In Durango, the Census identifies four fields that account for almost 60 percent of jobs held by local females:
Health and social assistance at 17.4 percent; education 15.1 percent; accommodation and food service 15 percent; and retail 12.1 percent.
A mere 6.8 percent of Durango women earn their keep in the “professional and scientific” industries.
But it’s a great place to be, nonetheless.
If variety is the spice of life, Durango is a habanero hot salsa. The potential to get burned is great, but that just makes it even more irresistible.
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you knew that in Greek mythology, Hesperus is the Evening Star, or the planet Venus in the evening sky.
