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Wag more, bark less with annual Christmas doggerel

The public art at the intersection of U.S. Highway 550/160 became one of the most talked about stories in Durango in 2014. First, there was public outcry about the art itself being unsightly. Then months later, an artistic soul found a way to turn the “Arc of History” sculpture into s representation of a prehistoric animal. The now-famous dinosaur head not only entertained people, but it ended up – through a silent auction – drawing $5,000 for arts education in Durango.

’Twas three days ’fore Christmas, and all through our towns

Events of the past year brought smirks and some frowns.

We’ll look at what happened for better or worse;

It’s time once again for the Action Line verse.

Durango’s a place that defies all description,

’Cuz every year something ignites a conniption.

So, what was the issue to which some obsess?

The number of guns that we all should posses?

Or was it the race between Mike and J. Paul?

Or mid-term elections decided this fall?

Or parks gone organic appear not to work?

The wastewater plant and the airport we shirk?

The moment defining Two Thousand Fourteen

Does not need awareness or thinking that’s keen;

The obvious pick for Event of the Year?

A fracas so great that it lacks any peer.

Just visit the crossroads, that new intersection,

And gaze on the artwork, the winning selection.

The “Arc” was a present but not from Saint Nick;

Observers deride it as “rocks on a stick.”

But just when you’d think how the whole thing’s absurd,

An artist nocturnal would not be demurred.

He crafted a noggin and made an addition

Eschewing the guidance of town’s arts commission.

The dinosaur head would delight and amaze

Despite that its lifespan was only three days.

With hooligans lurking, the head’s doom was set;

The same fate befalling Marie Antionette.

The saga’s not over as some would assume;

The object ends up in an evidence room.

The cranium auctioned to benefit art;

It shows our community has a big heart.

Enough of the saga, “The Dinosaur Head”;

There surely is news we can skewer instead.

Francisco’s was shuttered and most said “by golly,”

’Twas once here today and, alas, gone tamale!

The sale of the mountain called Purg-a-tor-REE;

A big change for winter, indubitably.

The retailing sector cannot be forgot,

Especially regarding the sale of pot.

When bar after bar is found along Main,

But pot shops are objects of utter distain.

So hooch is accepted, but herb is a trouble;

The cynic would say that this standard’s a double.

The sheriff’s department did go through the wringer;

Despite consolation, resentment will linger.

What made the election and Duke a refuter:

The emails he sent from a public computer.

The “liberal, gun-hating” folks in Durango

Transformed the election into a fandango.

So, what can we learn from events of this fall?

Use your discretion when pressing “Reply All.”

Municipal projects deserve our support;

Despite good intentions, we’re coming up short.

Repairs to the system that treats all our waste

Should not be pooh-poohed and be finished posthaste.

And meanwhile, the airport will need much attention;

A terminal upgrade and parking extension.

And why can’t Durango take care of its stuff?

‘Cuz duct-tape and patches are never enough.

Just what were they thinking in filling a lake,

But no can use it, for crimany’s sake!

Why must Lake Nighthorse continue undaunted?

It’s just like the bridge that not one of us wanted.

The A.D.U. issue has come to a head;

Make an apartment inside your old shed.

It’s all about “in-fill affordable housing”

For renters entitled to downtown carousing.

And what will we see in the upcoming year?

No one’s clairvoyant so be of good cheer.

Someone will make a peculiar decision,

Causing the public to vent its derision.

Then there’s a moment of clever insight

That squelches the critics, inspiring delight.

Democracy’s messy, for that we all know;

Durango’s no different – it’s how these things go.

So here’s to a Christmas that’s merry and jolly

A prosperous season despite all our folly.

To you, we extend the most warmest of wishes,

From yours truly here and from Action Line Mrs.

Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if your doggerel’s bark is verse than its bite.



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