Log In


Reset Password
Columnists View from the Center Bear Smart The Travel Troubleshooter Dear Abby Student Aide Of Sound Mind Others Say Powerful solutions You are What You Eat Out Standing in the Fields What's up in Durango Skies Watch Yore Topknot Local First RE-4 Education Update MECC Cares for kids

Sounding out car names makes wrong turns of phrase

Phonetic spelling rarely leads to happy results.

Check out this classified advertisement that appeared in The Durango Herald last week. Don’t you think that if you can afford a Mercedes, you’d know how to spell it? – Mary Kay Aigner

Let’s chalk this up to a phonetic faux pas. Or shall we say a “foe-net-ick foe paw?”

In English, things go awry when you spell words merely by sound, especially when it comes to a German luxury car.

When Mrs. Action Line saw the ad, she was quite amused.

“They forgot to use the full name,” she pointed out. “It’s a Mersadies-Bends!”

And speaking of “bends,” are there other automobile brands whose names could be twisted by phonetic folly? You bet your carburetor.

For example, if a working man wants a good, solid truck, there’s the Fjord.

The Fjord F-150 is a versatile rig, an American classic with Scandinavian design elements, including a sleek cup holder for Gevalia coffee.

The Fjord bench seats are from IKEA, available in the “Ektorp” cloth option or “Karlstad” leather upholstery.

Another multi-cultural automobile would be the Hun-Day.

Hun-Day is headquartered in South Korea and is known for its Sonata midsize sedan and Elantra compact.

But if we spelled the company’s name as it sounds, there could be a special new model, the Attila.

The Hun-Day Attila would be a swift, heavily armed vehicle used for ruthless pillage and plunder.

On the flip side, those who seek peace and enlightenment, there’s the Toy-Yoda, a car company whose spokesman is a small but powerful Jedi master with pointy ears.

Imagine the Toy-Yoda gravelly voiced sales pitch: “Pleasant experience your car purchase next will be.”

A very popular vehicle for the progressive Durango resident is the Sober-Roo.

The Sober-Roo offers lots of space to haul yoga mats, mountain bikes and organic produce.

Some people would confuse the Sober-Roo brand as promoting teetotaling marsupials, but the vehicles exist solely as a place for “Bread” stickers. At least in Durango.

Then there’s the vehicle line whose tagline is “innovation that excites.” We’re talking about the Knee-Sawn.

Having a Knee-Sawn sounds downright painful. Just ask our good friend Hart Renger, a former Durango resident who is recovering from a knee replacement.

We wish Hart a speedy recovery so he can get back to driving his Tesla, a car name that, regrettably, is spelled like it sounds.

And finally, we’ve saved the best for last. Here is a cheesy car name designed to get your goat: Chèvre-Rolaids.

Mr. and Mrs. Action Line both drive Chèvre-Rolaids, and neither vehicle ever has caused any cases of dyspepsia or heartburn.

Back to that Mersadies for sale ... if you buy the car, remember you will need to pay with either cache or Czech.

H H H

The Mea Culpa Mail never ceases to amaze and delight.

Last week’s column about hotels with the “best rats in town” brought a wonderful story from our good friend Rob Dawes.

“Your rats revelations reminded that when I was municipal judge in Durango, circa 1981,” Dawes writes.

“One of the defendants that came before me was a young man and disgruntled former employee of the Strater Hotel,” he recalled. “He had managed to get on the roof of the hotel and painted out the letters S, T, E and R on the big hotel sign, leaving an undesirable name. He admitted his guilt and was required to pay the cost for undoing his edit(orial).”

Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com. You can request anonymity if the sports gear on the roof of your car is worth more than your car.



Reader Comments