• News
• Sports
• Opinion
• A&E
• Multimedia
• Features
• Obituaries
• Blogs

  Home Page » News » Durango Goes Into Da Nile

Durango goes into 'Da Nile'

Snowdown commences with fashion, belching

by Garrett Andrews
Herald Staff Writer

Good taste had clearly fallen out of fashion in Durango by Wednesday's Fashion Do's and Don'ts Luncheon, an ornate showing of Bronze-era depravity, featuring appearances by the Queen of Da' Nile, the Cougars of Da' Nile and the balloon-endowed ladies of Big Butts of Da' Nile. (Guess which song they strutted out to?)The light-hearted costume pageant was the first staged event of Snowdown 2009. About 350 to 400 people were on hand to toast their own vulgarity, feast on "Camel Shank Stew" and offer plaudits to the saucy undead at a packed Veterans of Foreign Wars Hall on Main Avenue. The event marked the 15th staging of the show.

The story goes that USA Today had dubbed Durango the least fashion-conscious town in America in an article in the early '90s. In a show of solidarity, locals honored the distinction with a Snowdown fashion show, absent pretension and full of local flavor, said Dawn Staten, president of the Snowdown board of directors, as she prepared herself for a reappearance on the catwalk for the show's finale.

Staten could be seen minutes later crowded onto the platform, carousing with the 25 or so other performers to "Dancing Queen."

Many in the audience bought standing-room tickets and others paid $20 for runway-adjacent seats, and cheered the entrants as they marched in character down the runway.

Revelers came dressed in apparel inspired by this year's theme, "Snowdown in Da Nile." The show's entrants each wrote his or her own introduction, picked the entrance music, and designed his or her own costume. Some threw in timely cultural references.

One couple came as Mr. Twin Beauts and Ms. Bridge to Nowhere. Staten was dressed as "Pyramid Scheme," a monolithic testament to financial impropriety and gold-trimmed mac-ramé headwear.

"The show started 15 years ago as a joke, and now it's a real thing," emcee Candye Sauer said as she warmed up the crowd.

Sauer, as Mummy Dearest, a Hatshepsut-era trollop, vamped down the runway in a jury-rigged sedan chair - complete with rainbow beach umbrella - carried by three strong, shirtless men. She zinged one-liners at the crowd and batted her kohl-rimmed eyes.

Taste and sensitivity was in short supply from that point on.

"I haven't seen this many people with black hair and gold around their necks since the Beijing Olympics," she told the crowd.

Event coordinator Linda Mannix said she saw more men in the audience this year than in the past, but, true to form, everyone in the crowd got into the Egyptian feeling.

"The audience always outdoes itself," she said. "And this year was exceptionally outrageous."

The gender-bending continued at Ska Brewing, where Wednesday night the real winner of the  inaugural Snowdown Burping Contest was womankind.

Female contestants in the individual events outnumbered the men nine to four, while men appeared to outnumber women in the Ska tasting room. There were even more women in the couples division.

The men went first with James Hevey winning his heat with a unique burping style that earned boos from the crowd for the burper's tendency to alternate his art with low-pitched screaming. The people's champion, Gabe Thom, also won his bout handedly and went on to trounce Hevey in the playoff final.

Thom, with the presence of a tenor soloist, arched his back and directed with his arm the tender flow of each emission. The crowd - and the judges - responded.

Jeannette Simpson, an accountant with La Plata Electric Association by day, won the crowded women's bracket with tenacity, urging the crowd to back her efforts.

Thom, not slowed, later won the couples division with partner Mary Vivetti.

Marla Moon and Andrea Steward, students at Fort Lewis College, placed second in the couples division. The decision to enter was an easy one for them.

"Well we're professional burpers," said Steward. "No, don't put that. We're not."

County Commissioner Wally White also was at the contest, keeping his fingers to the pulse of his enterprising county.

"I have to keep an eye on my constituents," said White, who did not take part in the contest. "Making sure we're spending appropriately so city and county both see money from Snowdown. I'm just overseeing our tax revenues."

White was joking.

"It's absolutely amazing that so many people in our county would attend such a high-class event," he said laughing.

Ska co-owner Dave Thibodeau has big plans for next year's contest.

"Next, we'll double the beer so we get twice the burps."

gandrews@durangoherald.com