There is such a thing, people.
It’s tough. It’s gone rotten. It’s run out.
Luck, for which Mesoamerican cultures would perform human sacrifice and Asian cultures still pay great sums, isn’t just for the Irish.
After a 7‑7 Week 6 – 4‑10 against the spread – the Guru is sitting next to a rabbit foot, horseshoe, phoenix feather and a Tibetan prayer wheel while making the following picks.
If you’re seeking some good fortune of your own, try rubbing the noggin of Durango High School sophomore linebacker George Mayberry Jr.
In addition to helping DHS off to a miraculous 7‑0 start, Mayberry’s 115 points edged brother Isiah and Mark Johnson for the Gridiron Green.
The devil’s children have the Demons’ luck ¼
Sunday
49ers at Texans – Steve Slaton continued to struggle mightily, but Matt Schaub’s 392‑yard, four‑touchdown day gave the Texans a 28‑17 road upset at 4‑1 Cincinnati. Meanwhile, the 49ers couldn’t stop Matt Ryan and Roddy White in a Week 5 road blowout. Houston, they hav
e a problem. Guru: Houston 37‑21; Vegas: Texans by 3.
Packers at Browns – Cleveland is averaging 167 yards less than its opponents, but it did appear spirited in a 27‑14 loss to Pittsburgh and has won its last three against the spread. The onus is on the Browns’ pass rush to trouble Aaron Rodgers, who enters with a 104.5 passer rating. Guru: Green Bay 23‑15; Vegas: Packers by 7.
Chargers at Chiefs – Philip Rivers hopes to prove Kansas City’s strong defensive showing in Week 6 was a flash in the pan, while Kansas City tries to avoid losing its 10th consecutive game at Arrowhead. Guru: Kansas City 34‑33; Vegas: Chargers by 6.
Colts at Rams – Rearrange the letters in “St. Louis Rams” and you get “Slam suitors,” “Storms ail us,” and what quarterback Marc Bulger suffers from: “Aim‑loss ruts.” Indianapolis 45‑3;Guru:Vegas: Colts by 14.
Vikings at Steelers – With the most interesting storyline (Brett Favre), the best player (Adrian Peterson), the most dynamic rookie (Percy Harvin) and three of the young season’s more exciting wins, Minnesota’s 6‑0 start hasn’t been short on entertainment. Another barnburner awaits. Guru: Minnesota 27‑24;Vegas: Steelers by 4.
Patriots at Buccaneers – Tom Brady isn’t going to pass for another six touchdowns at Wembley Stadium in London, since pass defense is the one thing Tampa Bay does well. Still, Laurence Maroney and the rushing game will treat the Brits to a Boston TD party. Guru: New England 42‑17; Vegas: Patriots by 15.
Jets at Raiders – I said Oakland would lose 52‑7 in Week 6. Instead, the stingy defense shut down the Eagles, and the hapless offense mustered just enough mustard to win 13‑9. Rookie signal caller Mark Sanchez and the Jets are 0‑3 since starting 3‑0. Guru: New York 19‑17; Vegas: Jets by 7.
Bills at Panthers – It has been eight games since Jake Delhomme has thrown more touchdowns than interceptions, but he won’t have to risk anything against the Bills, who astoundingly allow more rushing yards per game (182) than passing yards (170). This one is off the books pending Trent Edwards’ status after his second concussion in less than a year. Guru: Carolina 10‑6; Vegas: Off.
Bears at Bengals – All of the Bengals’ wins have come by a touchdown or less, while the Bears could’ve reversed all three of their losses without myriad turnovers in each. Here’s a simple case of a pretender meeting a contender. Guru: Chicago 35‑20;Vegas: Bengals by 2.
Falcons at Cowboys – The irony is the only thing separating these teams – Dallas’ outstanding rushing attack – was Atlanta’s forte heading into 2009. Is “The Burner” a burnout? Michael Turner should be more effective in Arlington. Guru: Atlanta 26‑21; Vegas: Cowboys by 4.
Saints at Dolphins – Miami has toasted Land Shark Stadium with two wins in a row, but no team this year has finished within two touchdowns of the Saints, as überleader Drew Brees is on pace for 42 touchdowns against just six interceptions. Guru: New Orleans 38‑10;Vegas: Saints by 7.
Cardinals at Giants – Any time Arizona is involved, there’s bound to be a lot of passing. Both aerial attacks are a wash, but New York’s ferocious pass defense will make the task trickier for Kurt Warner. Guru: New York 37‑23; Vegas: Giants by 7.
Monday
Eagles at Redskins – Donovan McNabb looked atrocious last week, and the Redskins boast one of the league’s best secondaries. Todd Collins stepped in for Jason Campbell at halftime last week for Washington, and throughout football history there’s never been a surer sign of a late‑season rally than a budding quarterback change. Guru: Washington 19‑11; Vegas: Eagles by 7.
Bye weeks go to Detroit, Tennessee, Seattle, Jacksonville, Baltimore and – unfortunately for them – your undefeated Denver Broncos.