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Subaru parade needs a steering committee

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Sunday, July 1, 2018 10:06 PM

We’ve noticed lots of older black and dark blue Subaru Outbacks in Durango. I mean, there are four within three blocks of our house. Recently, when I went for a wine-and-beer run, a young man thought I stole his car when I drove by. Apparently, he too has a black 2001 Outback. I was thinking, can we have a parade this fall? Black and dark blue Subaru Outbacks only. Decorate them. Easily a third of Durango would come out. – Marilyn and Rich

A Subaru Parade would certainly be oh-so-Durango. Nothing proclaims a town’s rugged independence more than driving the same cars at the same time down the same street. We could call it the Subaru Saturnalia.

On second thought, that’s too far out of this world. People might think a “saturnalia” is a soiree for Saturns, which would never fit the profile of The Durango Lifestyle.

Then, how ’bout the Subaru Hullabaloo? Or the Subaru Whoop-de-do?

In any case, there is no need to decorate Subarus for a local parade. Subarus in Durango have plenty of flair, with virtually every bumper featuring a Bread sticker, a reminder to bark less, and faded remnants of Hillary or Bernie campaigns.

Plus, there’s the garish gallery of outdoor equipment logos, all of which offer the not-so-subtle message: “Free public lands demand expensive elite gear.”

Be that as it may, someone needs to get rolling on the all-wheel-drive love fest. The first order of business is to secure the city’s permission. After all, civic spontaneity requires meticulous planning.

Fortunately, this town never met a party it wasn’t thrilled to host. That’s why you’ll find a detailed how-to at durangogov.org. Click on Parks & Recreation and look for the Community Special Events link. Check out the 12-page guide. Then get to know our good friend, Mike Kelly. Action Line has worked with Mike several times, and he’s totally awesome. He makes stuff happen and toils tirelessly to ensure Durango has something fun going on all the time.

But there remains a nagging question: Are Subarus really the most popular vehicle in the zone between Bayfield and Hesperus? Apparently, not quite.

On Friday night, Action Line ran into Jim Morehart, co-owner of Morehart Murphy Auto Center. The dealership sells beaucoup Subarus.

“Actually, the highest per-capita Subaru ownership rates are in ski counties – Eagle, Pitkin, Summit and such,” Jim said. “But we’re not far behind.”

It’s not surprising. The No. 1 selling vehicle in Colorado last year, according the Kelley Blue Book data, is the Subaru Outback. So what’s the best-selling vehicle in states surrounding Colorado? You get one guess. Yup. It’s the Ford F-150 pickup topping the list in Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Kansas, Nebraska and Wyoming.

The territory circumscribing the Isle of Subaru that is Colorado was described thusly on a snarky vehicle owners’ blog: “Those F-150s are so ubiquitous that it’s like some motherhive cloned a billion identical boxes, painted them a few different colors, and released them into the wild like a cloud of mushroom spores.”

So maybe, in fairness, Durango should showcase its open-arms hospitality by organizing a regional parade for the F-150 truck. We could call it the Ford Fiesta!

Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can ask for anonymity if your Subaru upholstery has more dog hair on it than your fleece jacket.

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