I am seeking your help, and possibly the help of readers, to come up with a list of the Seven Wonders of Durango. It's
kind of like the Seven Wonders of the World - only with a local flavor. This list would include the design of the exit
from Home Depot, the five roundabouts in the mile-long Jenkins Ranch Road, and now we could include the new orange
diagonal crosswalk at College and Main. Why did we make it orange? Was it to call attention to the stupidest way to
waste $3 million? - G.M.
A contest to name the Seven Wonders of Durango. What a smashing idea!
But first, the lowdown on downtown's orange X."
Sorry, Broncos fans. The X isn't going to be orange for very long.
A couple of days ago, Action Line spoke with the crews painting the new crosswalk. The orange paint" is actually a
special concrete sealer that darkens as it dries and turns brick red from the grime of heavy traffic.
Just look at that part over there," one painter guy said, pointing to the north side of the intersection. It's
already looking like brick."
Painter Guy, by the way, was barefoot. Action Line didn't want to ask why. Some things are better left unknown.
Besides, it was a nice Friday afternoon - and who cares if a construction worker doesn't have shoes? Just as long as
he's wearing a hard hat, right? No reason to get OSHA involved.
But that's beside the point.
Anyway, time will tell if Rio Grande Land's newfangled diagonal crosswalk will be worth the hefty
Considering that tourists and locals alike jaywalk rampantly downtown, it seems like a silly project. For irate
taxpayers, this will really put the cross" in crosswalk.
And now for the fun stuff: the Seven Wonders of Durango contest!
In addition to the dubious Home Depot exit, Skyridge's impractical roundabouts and the costly downtown X, we could add
the miraculous Water-to-Wine River Conversion.
This is the precise moment, usually in mid-July, when there is more alcohol floating down the Animas River (either in
containers or bellies) than there is actual water in the river itself.
One of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World was the Colossus of Rhodes. Locally, we have the colostomy of roads -
namely the Florida project.
The Bridge to Nowhere is a shoo-in for the Wonders list. You can make up your own joke here.
And what about the Amazing Invisible Deer of U.S Highway 160? What an incredible phenomenon!
We spent a gazillion dollars on a big-game warning system, and warning lights are flashing Wildlife Detected" every
time you drive to or from Bayfield.
But do you ever see a deer? No. Never. Nada.
There's only one explanation.
The deer commandeered the starship Enterprise, traveled at warp speed to the Neutral Zone and stole a cloaking device
from the Romulans.
Apparently, these deer can be seen only by the expensive sensors on CDOT's high-tech safety contraption.
Another potential Wonder of Durango is real estate. How can a housing bubble implode nationwide yet prices not plunge
for the junk masquerading as homes for sale?
The rec center parking lot also is a likely candidate.
Where else do fitness-obsessed people drive around and around in their cars looking for a close-in parking space so
they don't have to walk far to exercise?
Please submit your ideas. The more the merrier. Action Line will come up with some sort of cheap and highly superficial
No doubt the Wonders of Durango will have to be more than seven. After all, isn't this town all about not obeying The
Let the rest of the world have only seven wonders. Here in Durango, we are special. We can have as many as we want. Or
And it will make up for the fact that gas prices are high, wages are low, there's no where to shop and we all wouldn't
consider living anywhere else.
E-mail questions or Wonders nominations to actionline@
durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request
anonymity if you call your mom today and apologize for not sending that Mother's Day card on time.