DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married almost four years. My husband and I are both barely 40, still quite young, but we have sex only once or twice a month. Our relationship is great, and we love each other. I just wish we had sex more often. I’ve told him I would like more, but it stays the same.
When we talked about past relationships, he mentioned women hounding him to have sex, so I don’t think it’s me. I don’t want to cheat, but I’m afraid I eventually will if my needs are not met. I don’t want to leave him, but I don’t want an almost sexless marriage.
He’s a very masculine man, so I don’t know how to ask him to go to the doctor to get something to increase his sex drive. Should I do that? Or should I get things to supplement our sex, like toys? – Needs More in Florida
DEAR NEEDS MORE: You appear to have married a very masculine man who has a very low sex drive or who may be borderline asexual. If marital aids would help you, by all means get some. You should also have a frank talk with your husband and suggest he consult his physician about the discrepancy in your sex drives.
Marriage counseling might help to improve your level of communication, but if none of the above work, you will have to decide if you are prepared to live with the situation as it is.
DEAR ABBY: I just stumbled upon my daughter-in-law’s Twitter account. She has posted half-naked pictures, talked about all the drinks she was consuming, and said that if she didn’t have a child, she’d be gone. The language she used would make a sailor blush.
I baby-sit for her, and I was shocked, to say the least. I foolishly posted a shocked cat on Facebook, stating that “this is me reading your Twitter account.”
My son is now upset with me that I read her Twitter posts. I am not sure he had seen them. I saved them on my computer, which he picked up when he was here and ran through my history.
I know I didn’t handle this the right way, but she was saying she starts drinking at 7 a.m., and that “moonshine wasn’t working anymore.” I am truly concerned about the baby. What can I do to repair this situation? – Shocked in Kentucky
DEAR SHOCKED: If that post was public, then anyone could see it. Your son may be embarrassed that you saw how dysfunctional his marriage is, and that’s why he is misdirecting his anger toward you rather than where it belongs.
If your daughter-in-law is drinking from the moment she wakes up, she’s in no condition to be caring for a baby. If she is using something stronger, you need to remind your son that the child’s welfare must come first. If your statement is ignored, you will have to decide whether to involve child protective services.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.