DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old professional woman who has been having an affair with a married man for three years. We have great chemistry, a passionate sex life, endless laughs and give each other a lot of support. He’s married and has children, and when he is with them I find myself incredibly jealous. I feel left out, and I no longer believe he will ever be with me, although he says he will.
Because of his legal status in the U.S., it could take a few years before he becomes a citizen and is able to divorce. Should we take a break and revisit our relationship in a few years, or should I stick by him until everything is sorted out? – Jealous Confused Lovebird
DEAR LOVEBIRD: I’m all for taking that break. The status quo is painful. As things stand, there are no guarantees your lover will ever leave his wife and children for you. If you take a break, you might meet someone who is eligible and actually willing (and able) to build a future with you. I say, go for it.
DEAR ABBY: My husband takes personal and business calls on his cellphone. When I’m with him, I ask who is calling before he picks up. He thinks this is “unusual” and becomes upset when I do. I think it is a courtesy to let me know who he is talking to because I am usually left sitting in the car next to him or at the table with an unfinished meal, playing a guessing game of “who is on the other end.” Should I bite my tongue, or should he let me know? – Who’s Calling
DEAR WHO’S: Unless your husband is a doctor or a bail bondsman, he shouldn’t be taking business calls when you’re having a meal together. If the call is important, he can return it after you have finished eating. As to being curious about who’s on the other end of the line, if it’s a friend, your husband could do what I do – and that’s mention the name of the person in his greeting or during the course of the conversation.
I don’t think your curiosity is “unusual.” Quite the opposite, in fact. But for heaven’s sake, stop allowing your food to get cold while you wait for him to finish talking. Eat it while it’s hot!
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.