It happens to nearly everyone.
You sit down to a lovely meal, surrounded by your entire family to celebrate your mother’s birthday. While you eat, the crickets chirp, and a soft summer breeze travels through the air.
It’s peaceful until it begins: a wet, rhythmic sound directly in your ear, unrelenting until it reaches an unbearable crescendo.
I’m referring, of course, to the sound of smacking, that mind-numbing noise of saliva and food churning together in an oblivious perpetrator’s mouth.
I once had a friend. Let’s call her Julia. She was a great friend, except for her inability to chew quietly. At first I tried to ignore her obnoxious habit, but as I reached the limits of my patience, I asked Julia to close her mouth and to chew like a civilized person. Julia quickly complied, but forgot the next time she bit into her pimento cheese sandwich on rye. Since Julia wasn’t able to uphold her end of the bargain, I did what any righteous 10-year-old would do and ended our friendship.
These chewing miscreants need to realize that, if they desire friends, the loud smacking has to go. Smacking can – and will – ruin all sorts of lovely occasions, including your mother’s birthday party.
Next time, if someone’s loud chomping pesters you, politely ask him or her to chew quietly. Otherwise, how will he or she ever learn?
Mariam Tiews (age 13)