DEAR ABBY: I have been married two years, but my husband and I have been together for more than 10. We have a 3-year-old daughter who has needed a few extra doctor appointments and therapy. My husband makes it to none of these extra appointments, some of which are crucial to her future. We both work full-time, but he works six days a week.
I have started to regard him differently because I’m doing everything for our daughter. Sometimes I feel like a single parent. I don’t want my marriage to fail, but we aren’t connecting anymore. I take off work or switch my hours around because I know that’s what you do for your child. He never takes off work, yet he doesn’t think twice about going golfing with his boss like it’s no big deal. What do you think I should do? – Wisconsin Mommy
DEAR MOMMY: Talk to your husband. You won’t be able to achieve a more equal balance until you make your feelings known and discuss this with him.
I’m sorry you didn’t mention what kind of job your husband has, because it’s an important omission. He may be doing everything he can for you and his daughter. A six-day-a-week schedule doesn’t offer much flexibility. And please don’t judge him for playing golf with his boss. A lot of business is discussed on the links, and his presence may be more compulsory than you realize.
DEAR ABBY: My adult child recently passed away. Although he didn’t live with me, I handled the arrangements and held the visitation in my home.
It has been only a few months, but I feel the need to get everything settled. But every time I sit down to write thank-you cards, I become so anxious I find it hard to breathe. Some family members have told me thank-you cards are not expected for bereavement. Can you tell me what the proper etiquette and time frame is in this matter? – Has to Settle Everything
DEAR HAS: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your son. There are two ways to handle the task of thanking those who sent flowers, food or condolence letters. The first is to ask a friend or another family member to help you. The other is as simple as having cards printed that say, “The family of ____________ want to thank you for reaching out to us at this sad time,” and signing your name. I hope this is helpful for you.
DEAR ABBY: I have a close friend with whom I often travel and attend events. She’s a lovely person, but she has the odd habit of singing in public – in gift shops, restaurants, or any public place where music is playing (and sometimes even when it’s not). I can’t have the radio on in the car without her singing along. She has an OK voice, but her style is a bit operatic. How can I gently tell her that her spontaneous performances are inappropriate and excessive? – Not Karaoke in the East
DEAR NOT KARAOKE: I suspect your friend craves attention, which is why she does it. Pay her the compliment she’s looking for by telling her how nice her voice is, but you would prefer she not sing when you’re out in public together because you find it embarrassing.