Eureka! The city has finally resolved the parking problem. While perambulating in peaceful Skyridge, I came upon this Beemer parked on the sidewalk. Do we now permit such sidewalk sedan storage? How does one get this permit and what’s the cost? If they can do it in Texas (note the license plate), we should do it here. Sign me, the Par King
This question should spark outrage.
Not because of the egregious parking job.
It’s the fact that the car in question was called a “Beemer.”
This drives drivers of the Ultimate Driving Machine nuts.
It’s “Bimmer,” which rhymes with swimmer.
Various sources – including regional BMW car clubs and a magazine called Bimmer – agree that “Bimmer” refers to the car. “Beemer” is the BMW motorcycle.
“It has come up time and again,” according to a rant posted on a Boston BMW-owners-group website.
“We gotta keep covering this issue until the world gets straightened out. It’s a simple, painless lesson. Learn now and avoid embarrassing yourself in front of other car enthusiasts,” writes the author, citing a “Very Highly Placed” BMW spokesperson.
“BMW cars are called Bimmers.”
Never mind that in Boston, many would pronounce it as “BIM-mah.”
Closer to home, Action Line checked in with Kyle Young, service writer with Animas Automotive, which repairs BMWs.
“Bimmer or Beemer?” Action Line asked.
“I simply call it work,” Kevin said without missing a beat.
And now for the bummer.
It’s a bummer when a Bimmer owner thinks it’s OK to park on a public sidewalk.
Granted, the sidewalk is in the Skyridge neighborhood.
It’s a little-known fact that “skyridge” derives from an ancestral Puebloan phrase meaning “place of no parking.”
Despite that enclave’s infrastructure shortcomings, the city of Durango has not created a VIP sidewalk parking pass.
“I can tell you with absolute certainty that the city does not have a sidewalk parking program, Skyridge or elsewhere,” said our good friend Kevin Hall, assistant city manager, who has the thankless task of dealing with local parking issues.
“Honestly, I’m surprised no one called on this,” Kevin added. “I’m sure the vehicle would have been ticketed and towed.”
But look at the photo closely. In the background to the left, you’ll see a Durango Police car is on the way. Uh-oh.
Perhaps this Bimmer bummer offers the perfect opportunity to include “car parking” in the proposed town ordinance that bans sitting or lying on sidewalks.
“No Sit, Lie or Park,” Kevin said with a chuckle. “That pretty well covers all the bases.”
However, such an amendment would be redundant, as the city code already curbs the curbside offense.
Article II Section 24-50 reads thusly: “No person shall stop, stand or park a vehicle ... on a sidewalk or in a manner that obstructs the pedestrian use of a sidewalk.”
Note that there are no exceptions for out-of-state plates.
So why would a Texan park on a sidewalk?
The answer became clear last week as Action Line was making hotel reservations for a conference in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex.
Action Line asked the nice person at the front desk: “Is the convention hall within walking distance?”
“Why walk? We have a shuttle.”
“Walking’s healthy and I need to stir my stumps,” Action Line replied.
“Honey,” the agent drawled. “Y’all should know that no one walks in Texas.”
Thus, Action Line will state he’ll stir alone in Texas. Call it the Lone Stir State.
And exercise will be even more important because the conference features daily ice cream breaks.
Remember the à la mode.
Email questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if your other BMW is a Subaru.