What does the upcoming sales-tax hike really mean? It’s supposed to be for road repairs. Voters rightly didn’t trust the City Council in the last election, so should we ever? Are we voting for more green paint on our streets or actual improvements? How much trickery is in the details? Sign me, Needing Truthful Explanations
Uh-oh. Action Line is being drawn into politics. Time to do what any common community commentator would do.
Duck the question and deflect people’s attention.
Dang, that didn’t work.
The other tactic is to blame the media, the Enemy of the People.
Wait a minute ... Action Line is the media, and he’s not a foe of anyone – except for herds of urban deer.
Or better call them hordes of deer. They won’t stop until Action Line’s garden is ruined.
Just the other day, an insufferable ungulate climbed up a massive snowbank to feast on the tips of a prized tree.
Out came the Liquid Fence spray repellent.
Nothing says Happy Valentine’s Day like the whiff of putrescent egg solids and thyme oil.
Don’t fret. Mrs. Action Line understands. Love has many perfumes.
In any case, before turning up your nose on this tax measure, let’s first look at what it says.
Action Line called our good friend Dirk Nelson, city attorney, for the ballot language. Here it is:
“Shall City of Durango taxes be increased not more than $4,686,000 in the first full fiscal year of collections and by whatever amounts are generated annually from an additional sales and use tax of not more than 0.50% to be imposed beginning July 1, 2019, for the purposes of funding the construction, operation and maintenance of streets, alleys, curbs, gutters, sidewalks and related street improvements with proposed expenditures being first submitted to a citizen advisory board for a recommendation to City Council; provided that these increased taxes shall not be collected after June 30, 2029?”
Note that a group of us regular folk would oversee it all.
But just in case the city needs a Plan B for infrastructure, here are some suggestions:
Designer Fleece Tax: Anyone wearing name-brand fleece will have to pay the city $7.50 per day.The “Patagonia prerogative” would add several million dollars to municipal coffers annually.
Concurrently, anyone wearing Carhartts but not doing construction or working outdoors should be assessed a Poser Penalty of $5 per infraction.Canine Tariff: Durango is in the financial dog house, with finances in ruff shape. Thus, the city would be on Cloud Nine with a $9.99 tariff on canines.Multi-Modal Fair Share: Everyone should fund streets regardless of whether or not they drive on them.Therefore, the city should impose a hefty multi-modal surcharge on bikes. Also for tricycles, skateboards and most kinds of shoes.
Then slap that levy on snowboards, skis, kayaks, rafts, standup paddleboards and paragliders.
Likewise, a Roof Rack Surtax would fine anyone transporting recreational equipment that’s worth more than the vehicle carrying said gear.Offenders would pay the difference between the fair-market-value of outdoor equipment and the car’s Blue Book price.
Installing a toll booth at the eastern city limits would ensure that county residents of Edgemont Ranch and beyond will reimburse the city for the $17.5 million it spent to fix Florida Road.In the meantime, let’s approve a measure allowing angry parts of La Plata County to secede. We’ll call it LaPlexitDisenfranchised rural residents would then be free to achieve unity through isolation, making progress by applying yesterday’s ideas tomorrow.
Email questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 80301. You can request anonymity if your roads are paved with good intentions.