Now that our leaders have tackled the problem of nefarious medical marijuana outlets, shouldnt they turn their attentions here? This sign (see photo) appeared outside a legitimate pet store in town.
No catnip problem exists yet. So isnt now the time for pre-emptive, assertive action? Imagine if local cats get their hands, or paws, on some really good stuff. The Curmudgeon
Not to let the cat out of the bag, but the really good stuff is already for sale at Pet Haus, 1444 Main Ave., the shop with the delightful sign in question.
This legal nip-dealer has a full array of herbal products for feline wellness.
For instance, there are half- and full-ounce bags of 100 percent organically grown product, sure to be a hit among Durangos holistic pet owners who aim to save the Earth each time their cat gets a fix.
And by fix, we dont mean being spayed or neutered.
Pet Haus also offers Pawbreakers, which are large round balls of catnip; Catnip Creatures, which are catnip-infused toys; and assorted catnip-filled mini-pillows, which no doubt serve as gateway nip for kittens.
But the best product, by far, is Catnip Buds. Seriously. Catnip Buds come in 9-gram packages proclaiming to be the most potent form of dried catnip available.
Oh my. This is hardcore.
Catnip Bud is grown in Canada. So forget Acapulco Gold or Panama Red. Now theres Manitoba Meowy Wowie or Alberta Kitty Clipper or Saskatchewan Kat-Chew-On.
Who knew that Canada was such an importer of tabby temptations?
And soon, Pet Haus will stock locally grown catnip for locavores. Or should we say, the loco-vores? Cats will go crazy for it. Purr-fect.
Are we being gypped when it comes to chicken wings? Some local restaurants advertise a certain number of wings at a certain price per wing, but when served, each wing is only half a wing.
Im begging you to lead the charge for truth in wing advertising. I want the whole dang wing! P.S. Half the fun is pulling apart the whole wing before slurping up its sloppily delicious, juicy winginess (is this a word?). Anita Hermosillo
Bird marketers have their own language, some of it quite creative.
Consider chicken fingers. Chickens dont have hands, but we gorge on their fingers. And what about nuggets and tenders? Neither is identified on a butchering chart.
In the chicken processing world, a wing is either one of two products: a drummette, the part shaped like a tiny drumstick, or a flat, the part that has two bones side-by-side. Thus, there are four wings per chicken.
When local restaurants order chicken wings, their suppliers will deliver a mix of precut drummies and flats, said Carly Watson, a waitress at Cuckoos Chicken House and Waterin Hole, the premier place for wings. The establishment also offers whole wings, but they cost a bit more.
By the way, Cuckoos doesnt sell by the number of wings; it sells wings by the pound, so theres no getting gypped.
What if Action Line told you a chicken has two more wings?
No, these chickens were not raised near Chernobyl. Additional appendages are another example of creative poultry processing. The new cut is called Chicken Wings Select.
Chicken Wings Select comes from The Third Wing LLC of Dacula, Ga., which manages the licensing of U.S. Patent 6,769,977 that defines the process or method for cutting and boning a fowl to create a meat cut which includes the scapula bone and its associated muscles (meat), the company clucks on its website.
So basically, a wing can now be white meat thats part of a chickens back.
Thus, between drummettes, flats and Chicken Wings Select, each bird now has six wings. This might cause a flap, but its Action Lines job to ruffle a few feathers.
Email questions to email@example.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 80301. You can request anonymity if you can consume a platter of Cuckoos Kicker Wings without breaking a sweat.