If only Durangoans could go back to their high school days when they were endlessly teased for braces, thick eyeglasses and dorky clothes.
Now, they'd be considered the cream of the crop.
Locals dug deep to find their inner geek and let it shine at the annual Fashion Do's & Don'ts Luncheon on Wednesday.
Well, maybe not too deep.
“It's hard to tell who is in costume and who isn't,” said announcer Suzan Lane, decked out in a Hello Kitty outfit.
The luncheon is one of the first events to kick off Snowdown and certainly one of the most risqué. This year was no different with the wine and beer flowing as scantily dressed participants got their geek on.
Another, now legal, substance may have been involved.
“Who likes marijuana?” Jeff Mannix asked in his revitalized role as Gene Pool Gaultier, after recounting a story about the drug being popular only in big cities. The audience answered with applause and loud cheers.
Most of the women wore their hair in pigtails, while the men wore plaid. In fact, plaid was everywhere: plaid skirts, shirts, hats and every other clothing the pattern is available in was on full display. Every gender was rocking suspenders.
In an odd twist of fate, several eyeglass wearers broke their bifocals right down the middle. Luckily, they had the good sense to tape them up and continue wearing them.
The event was held at the La Plata County Fairgrounds for a second year. All of the tables were filled and plenty of attendees were left standing along the walls.
Gaultier – a caricature of French designer Jean Paul Gaultier – designed this year's fashion masterpieces.
If his line becomes a success, Durango could start seeing hippie, '70s-era clothing come back into style now that marijuana is legal in the state.
Those hitting the slopes could see skiers dressed in “Eurotrash”-style neon pants and shirts.
Four brave men walked the runway in very tight tights and shirts. While the designer boasted that “butt cracks” would be a feature of the design, none were in display.
Lucy Ricardo arose from the dead to strut her stuff down the runway and try out for the Snowdown Follies, but, alas, Ricky told her “no.”
Participants saw librarians in a new light at the luncheon. Librarians may be quiet and proper in the confines of their four walls of books, but they really let loose once out on the town. Don't be surprised to see them clad in corsets with their hair down on a night out.
In true Durango fashion, model Adele Nielsen mocked the lack of cellphone coverage in the area with “Lost Verizons.”
“Can you hear me now?” she asked the audience.
But the most popular models on the runway were Doug and Diana Hill in their rendition of “50 Shades of Geek” – based on the erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey.
Durango Public Library had a long waiting list for the book, and people were buying it in droves at Maria's Bookshop.
Fashion show organizers embraced Durango's love of the novel, and attendees cheered on the couple, albeit with blushing cheeks.