Many early mornings I see more than a few parked bicycles on Main Avenue sidewalks. Were the riders abducted? By aliens? By Focus on the Family? By NORML? Thanks, Dan (P.S. Why do they call it a dog park if there is nowhere to park?)
This is one of the hardest parts of Action Line.
When you inquire if an organization kidnaps early-morning bicycle riders, most organizations dismiss you as a dangerous lunatic.
Action Line dangerous? No. Lunatic? Perhaps. But definitely not dangerous.
Be that as it may, both the Washington, D.C.-based lobbying group National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws and the Colorado Springs-based evangelical association Focus on the Family opted not to respond to queries about hijacking of Durango's predawn pedalers, either by a clandestine cadre of their internal agents or by pesky extraterrestrials.
Perhaps organizations just don't understand that Action Line has a sworn duty to ask The Difficult Question in search of The Truth.
Let's face it. If Walter Cronkite knocked on your door seeking information about alien kidnappers, you'd invite him inside, brew up some fresh coffee or tea, arrange some tasty cookies on the good china lined with a white doily and enjoy a nice chat in the living room.
But when Action Line comes calling about alien abductions, everyone clams up. Except for the Durango Police Department, thank goodness.
Capt. Micki Browning bravely checked the official records and reported with certainty that there have been no confirmed instances of alien abductions in Durango.
"But those aliens can be quite wily," she added with a grin.
She said the police will be asked from time to time to investigate spaceship skullduggery, but these reports generally are made by "certain members of the community with mental issues."
So, to clear things up, a quick check on predawn downtown showed that the truth is out there: Some early-shift employees commute by cruiser.
After all, Durango is crazy about bikes - crazy being more of an obsession than a mental issue.
Seeing bikes in a bike town should be no cause for alarm, unless there is unusual activity associated with cycling.
However, if you witnessed the outrageous costumes and joie de vivre of last weekend's Single Speed World Championships, you now know it's completely impossible to distinguish alien from earthling in the bicycle community.
Take me to your leader.
About 150 feet south of the driveway at Durango Harley-Davidson, there is a sign that reads "Frontage Road-Speed Limit 35." Then about 20 feet away, there is another sign exactly like it that says the exact same thing. These two signs have been in place for some time. Is CDOT trying to send us some kind of a message? - Gerry Mulder
Yes. The message is "Hey you! The speed limit is 35!"
But seriously, you caught the Colorado Department of Transportation in transition.
As part of the U.S. Highway 550/160 reconstruction project, "we were replacing or resetting signs," said CDOT spokeswoman Nancy Shanks.
The new sign was installed a couple weeks before the old sign was taken down.
"It's definitely not a plan to get people's attention," she added.
Which might not be such a bad idea, considering how people drive through Bodo Park.
Maybe CDOT could redeploy that programmable billboard used for the Colorado Highway 3 closure. It could flash these messages: "Don't drive like an idiot!" "Stop yakking on cell phone and slow down!" and "Use that turn signal, buster!"
Anyway, the frontage road no longer is an affront. The redundant sign has been removed, and all is well in the Bodo metroplex, except for that concrete barrier bisecting the byway. People seem to really dislike that thing.
E-mail questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you can show the little green men that there's intelligent life on the planet.