The vending machine at work features potato chips on the top shelf, while the candy bars are on the lower shelves.
Isn't it kind of stupid to put breakable snacks up high where they have the farthest to fall? - Sign me as "Junk
What a fortuitous turn of events. After reading your e-mail query, Action Line has a sudden urge to purchase a
And as luck would have it, there at the 2nd-floor vending machine was Mike McClenny. He's the nice fellow from
Coca-Cola vending who stocks the big glass box with all the stuff that every office worker craves around 3 p.m.
Alas, Mike's options are few when it comes to reconfiguring chips.
"Obviously, the potato chip bags need more room, and the taller and wider spaces are only at the top of the machine,"
he pointed out.
It's really not a big deal.
"There's rarely, if ever, an issue with broken chips even though they have a longer drop," Mike said.
"Honestly, chips face a far greater risk of breaking during shipment and during stocking than from the act of
vending," he said, gingerly inserting a bag of Lay's into the uppermost corkscrew dispenser thingy.
Another factor that limits potato-chip collateral damage: Puffy packaging acts like a pillow for tumbling snacks. All
that air softens the hard landing at the bottom of the vending machine.
So don't be afraid. Deposit 75 cents, make your selection - and let the chips fall where they may.
What's up with those two ginormous billboards on top of Perins Peak? I'd like to lease one of them to advertise my
business, because in these uncertain economic times, it is very important to appeal to the broadest swath of the
Durango demographic. (P.S. And greetings to Mrs. Action Line, the even more magnificent and all-knowing.) - A Real
American Plumber, not Joe.
Mrs. Action Line sends her warmest regards, as well. Flattery will get you anywhere. Except to the top of Perins
Peak, which now is closed until July 15.
Perins Peak's landlord is the federal Bureau of Land Management, while the surrounding areas comprise the Perins Peak
State Wildlife Area, which is controlled by the Colorado Division of Wildlife.
The wildlife area is off-limits to human interlopers annually from the last day of hunting season through March 31.
Perins Peak is prime winter forage and birthing areas for deer and elk. You see, it's vital that we protect and
nurture big game each winter so we can shoot them the following autumn.
In addition, there's a zone closed until July 15 to protect peregrine falcons.
This restricted area is east of County Road 208 and north of U.S. Highway 160. Or "Durango Boulevard" if the city
foolishly continues on its name-change campaign.
Which has nothing to do with the mountaintop "billboards," or, as my friend and artist extraordinaire Maureen May
calls them, "screens for the Durango Double Drive-In."
The white slabs are neither the world's least accessible theater nor most obscure advertising venue. They are
microwave relay structures used for telecommunications.
Rather than spend your ad budget on billboards, there are other ways to boost the visibility of your plumbing
Start by refunding the bill of a customer who is the biggest whiner. Then send the malcontent a letter stating it's
time to part ways.
This tactic seems to be quite effective in garnering attention these days.
E-mail questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you think snow, even if you don't ski or snowboard, own water rights
or go river rafting.