I am a nonviolent vegetarian who lives in town. I'd love to raise my own free-range organic eggs. However, it occurred
to me that if I buy six chicks, half of them might be roosters! This is a real dilemma. Has someone invented an
anti-crowing collar? What are my options? P.F.
It sure didn't take long for the practical issues of the chicken ordinance to come home to roost.
So what's a peace-loving hen rancher supposed to do? Obviously, the vegetarian part limits the Sunday Barbecue
Option.
You'll need to become poultry proactive.
When ordering your chicks in spring, get pullets" and not a straight run."
That's the advice from the aptly named Jennifer Poulton, a cashier at Basin Co-op.
Action Line pointed out to Jennifer that substituting the last two letters in her name with ry," and she'd be
Poultry."
I get that all the time," Poulton said, clearly not amused.
Anyway, the people who raise chicks from eggs know how to tell boys from girls. Apparently, it's quite difficult to
sex a chicken."
Oh stop blushing, you city slickers. Sexing a chicken" is the correct phrase for determining gender. And no, it
doesn't involve dinner and a movie.
But that's beside the point.
Basin Co-op has chicks available in spring, usually in late March or April.
An order of pullets is supposed to be all hens," Jennifer said. The straight run hasn't been sexed and will likely be
half hens and half roosters."
However, Jennifer warned that an occasional male can evade detection. Maybe one or two in a hundred in a pullet
order," she said.
If you get a rogue rooster, you could always take out a free to a good home" classified ad.
But one can't always guarantee the good" part of home, and little Foghorn Leghorn might end up in the stewpot, which
would make you a carnivorous co-conspirator.
So Action Line tried to contact the area's true poultry expert: the person who made national headlines by wearing a
chicken suit during an all-too-brief appearance during a recent City Council meeting.
Alas, his or her identity is the best-kept secret in town.
Until we hear from our favorite feather-frocked interloper, a classified ad or a note on the Basin Co-op bulletin board
is your best alternative so far.
With the Mea Culpa Mailbag and in life, sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.
But with last week's column on vehicle window tinting, Action Line was definitely the bug. Kersplat!
b A former window tinter, Michael Lee, takes a dim view of Colorado's laws that severely limit tinting.
Why spend $300-plus on something that provides no privacy or heat reduction? Not only does a car with blacked-out rear
and nothing on the front look ridiculous, it defeats the purpose of tint."
Lee also had an issue with the Durango Police Department.
We have cops constantly on patrol, constantly harassing the general public with small-time speeding tickets and
violations (such as window tinting) while bank robbers are getting caught on camera and still go without
prosecution."
Furthermore, Action Line's potshot about the bad driving habits of New Mexicans was offensive to such a broad group of
people," he said.
b How dare you insult New Mexico?" asked reader Lori Romero, a proud citizen to the south. If Farmington wasn't there
for the Durango shoppers, what would you have?"
She took umbrage at the suggestion that New Mexico change its Land of Enchantment" slogan to Land of Mr. Magoo."
I hope you rephrase your insult to us New Mexicans who live and work in this 'perfect state' of yours. If you want to
insult states, I have plenty for you about your state!"
She continued, We all don't have tinted windows. And guess what? We can really drive safely, too. If I sound ticked
off, I am. I expect an apology. No, I demand it."
E-mail questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave.,Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you drop a couple bucks in the Salvation Army red kettle or take care
of a kid on the Project Merry Christmas angel tree
at the Durango Mall.
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