Please investigate possible illegal voter suppression at Miller Middle School. Earlier this month, The Durango Herald reported that wildlife officials removed a “deer caucus” from the school grounds. Has our Colorado Parks and Wildlife become an arm of I.C.E.? Or perhaps it merely discovered a herd of Bernie supporters still trying to gain access to their caucusing location. – Concerned Citizen, Judy Hook, Durango
The Deer Caucus has become a force of nature in Durango.
You see the Deer Caucus everywhere, an ever-expanding multitude of activists that support open borders, socialized land-use and free food.
In other words, members of the Deer Caucus assert their inherent right to saunter into your yard and eat every plant, shrub and flower.
It’s a serious platform, as evidenced by a motto that would make the NRA proud: “Restrict Browsing? Over My Dead Body!”
However, the Deer Caucus supports strict gun control laws.
And lower speed limits.
Action Line has joined others in calling for the removal of the Deer Caucus. They were warned. Nevertheless, they persisted.
But the “deer caucus,” dear readers, was an ungainly ungulate error, in which a missing “r” combined with autocorrect resulted in “carcass” becoming “caucus.”
Ironically, carcass pretty much describes our moribund political caucus situation.
The fact that some people want another brick in “The Wall” could also make this typo a Pink Floydian Slip, as we hurtle ever closer to the dark side of the moon.
But let’s not go there.
Some recent typos have certainly been entertaining.
Take the one in which a person was described as winning “a roll” in a theatrical production.
It begs the question: Kaiser or Cinnamon?
Of course, Action Line has had a fair share of wonder blunders.
Who could forget the rogue instance in which a list of undesirable trees was called “a rouge’s gallery”?
Action Line was red-faced getting caught red-handed by the Grammar Police.
Same with the time Action Line said the ingenious folks at Ska were “cleaver” instead of clever.
Ska is a certainly a cut above, but not that way.
Yup. Relying on computers can result in some doozies.
Knot awl miss stakes our easel lee dee tech Ted bye spell Czech. Sew ewe half two bee rig or us.
Here’s a follow-up to the question about the inefficient “efficient” lights along Florida Road. What about the solar lights along the Animas River Trail from Demon Bridge to the train trestle bridge? I think they are great, but they are frequently out despite being newly installed. Sign me, The Night Walker
At Mrs. Action Line’s insistence, a caliginous perambulation took place to shed light on the darkened path.
Mrs. Action Line will jump at any opportunity to peregrinate, preferably diurnal but nocturnal will do in a pinch.
This is why Mrs. Action Line tells her students, “never use a big word when a diminutive one will do.”
Anyway, the light situation wasn’t all that bad, with three posts not working.
However, two of them were at the worst possible spots: at the end of each bridge, where footing can be tricky.
So Action Line spoke with our good friend Cathy Metz, director of the city’s Parks & Recreation Department.
Cathy was bummed. It confirmed what trail users have been reporting for months. The solar LED trail lights “just aren’t reliable,” she lamented.
Therefore, all future LED trail lighting will have to be hard-wired.
In the meantime, Cathy took note of the dud locations and put them on the city’s ever-growing spring fix-it list.
Spring? What’s that?
Oh, it’s what we enjoyed in early February. Go figure.
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can ask for anonymity if you can get the Deer Caucus to say the buck stops here.
