There’s a person who walks her dog by my home every morning and evening and religiously lets her dog poop in my yard. She always picks it up, but then walks further onto my property and deposits the bag and contents into the recycling container. I have asked her several times to quit, but her response is “It’s Durango,” as if that absolves her of everything. I have several ideas of my own to deal with the issue, but I don’t believe any are legal or in line with the “It’s Durango” philosophy. Any suggestions? – Anonymous, please.
Ah yes, the lame “It’s Durango” excuse.
This dismissive utterance is but a cheap alibi to justify quirks, rudeness, ineptitude, entitlement, arrogance, privilege or just plain cluelessness.
“It’s Durango” is the embodiment of Durango Exceptionalism, meaning the rules don’t apply because we are special based on geography and not any inherent talent or skill.
Here’s your Durango Participant Ribbon. Congratulations! Everyone is way above average.
“It’s Durango” is closely related to “The Durango Lifestyle.”
Every real estate ad offers The Durango Lifestyle but never quite defines what it is, other than paying too much for a house with La Plata views, an open floor plan and a recently remodeled kitchen where there’s a fruit bowl on the counter.
“It’s Durango” not only pardons the doo-doo deposited in your recycling bin, but it also handily covers a multitude of other unacceptable behaviors and faux pas.
Is it OK to wear an old T-shirt to a wedding? Take an unleashed pet to Home Depot? Quit your job to go skiing? Run stop signs on a bike worth more than most cars?
Oh well. “It’s Durango.”
That also covers people who decry the lack of affordable housing but who will insist on getting top dollar when they sell their home to move back to Boulder.
Anyway, since you confronted the pesky pet-poop perp, few civil options remain.
And you’ll be in the doghouse if you smack the pet owner on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.
Why not install a motion-activated sprinkler?
When interlopers come a-calling, they will be greeted by a blast of cold water.
Just be sure to turn off the hose when dinner guests are coming. Also, mail carriers or the UPS guy might not be thrilled with your defenses.
On the other hand, motion-activated sprinklers might come in handy for campaigning politicians and all the dang deer around here.
Allowing overpopulated urban deer herds to run roughshod is so Durango. The mere mention of an archery hunt will prompt gasps of horror among the fawning fawn fans. But when the beasts destroy the organic heirloom vegetable garden and utterly thrash the tree planted for tolerance on Earth Day, there will be hell to pay.
The best idea is to install a lock on your recycle bin. A safety hasp at Kroeger’s will only set you back 5 bucks, plus some bolts. Your poop-proof recycling bin will complement your bear-resistant garbage container. Securing the household trash and recycling, but not locking the front door.
“It’s Durango.”
H H H
Fortunes have turned for local psychic Crystal Andasola. Last week’s column about hokey horoscopes noted her unsuccessful quest to find a new location for her Sacred Space business. The stars came into alignment last week, and she found new digs at 110 Mill Street in Bayfield. Moving will be in a couple weeks.
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you explain why people leave those green bags along the Animas River Trail.
